pianomankugie

Recently was on a two week vacation visited Devil's Tower, Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse, Fort Laramie, Colorado National Monument, Arches National Park, Mesa Verde National Park, Four Corners, Painted Desert / Petrified Forest National Park, Arizona Meteor Crater, Sedona, Grand Canyon.  What a beautiful country we live in.  What a wonderful place to live and work and just be in.  How fortunate we are indeed.   I plan to go back to some of these places on another vacation and to spend some more time just being there and experiencing those places.  Now I am even more grateful to live and have the freedoms we have to travel and to see the wide open places in the West.  Yes, a few of the wide open places in between these gem jewels were more boring than others.  But there is such a peace and tranquility in them that transcends the boring.  This MDOC (Mountain Desert Ocean City) really enjoyed this trip.  I am so glad that this nation has decided to set aside these special places to be protected and preserved.

Even though the school year has started, it is still a quiet summer.  No local fires, hailstorms, earthquakes, floods, H1N1 flu outbreaks, major traffic accidents, mobs or riots, just a nice quiet summer.  Planting flowers and trees in the yard.  Tearing out some old rotted wood and putting cement blocks in its place.  Pulling weeds by hand.  Repainting the outside of the house.  Last weekend went to an area museum with Lego exhibits and a exact cast of the Sue T-Rex skeleton.  As Spock would say in Star Trek, "fascinating".  And at work, a newly implemented student information system is keeping life very interesting there, no boredom to be had.  So thankful to live in the US and specifically, the West.

Yes, the picture of me is from 1978 I think.  Sigh, back in the years when I used the piano as a means of isolation, venting, hiding, and self-protection.  I'm grateful that I haven't seriously practiced since the year 2000, when it became just too difficult to carry on.  After years of practicing ten and twenty hours a week, I had finally had enough.  The costs had overwhelmed the profits.  It was time to do some major catching up in other areas of life like being social and dealing with people and not drowning in introversion......and I had already been doing more people and less music since my conversion in 1984, but the music came to an abrupt end.  Once someone you love deeply has told you that they get the feeling that you love the piano more than you love them, and you stop to think about it and realize they are exactly right and they are not imagining it and embarrassingly to admit not using hyperbole or exaggeration, you abandon the piano for the person.  Or at least I did.  Some would say how awful, he gave up his artistry, he gave up his concerts, what a shame, what a loss.  (Some still say that. They shake their heads in disbelief).  I say Thank God!  Enough with music idolatry.  Enough with music snobbery.  Enough with "ART" at the expense of everything else.  Enough with an offering that is never acceptable, a work that is never finished, a performance that is never done.  Freedom, Hallelujah, Freedom!  And in April 2007 I finally tossed a couple of bookshelves of sheet music and books which I hadn't looked at or worked on in over ten years at least, into the dumpster!  God forbid anyone else should be cursed with them.  And then I began to wonder about all those compliments about how people had been so moved and blessed and entertained.  Music as ministry?  Ha!  What good are Chopin and Beethoven and Brahms to those who are homeless and starving and have no medicine and only one set of clothes?  Do I really believe that piano recitals are a luxury?  YES, an emphatic yes.  He did not say "I was feeling depressed and you cheered me up with your music".  Ok, Ok, so David played the harp and Saul felt better.  But I'd almost wager that David didn't take 15 years of harp lessons practicing five to ten to twenty hours a week on the harp so that he could play harp concertos with the orchestra and do solo recitals for King Saul.  As Pooh Bear said, "Oh, bother".

I dug most of an old stump and several of it's roots-just-below-the-surface out of the yard today.  It's probably been about 25 years since I did anything like that.  I had to stop and take frequent rest, even though I was in the shade and the temp had not yet reached 80.  It felt really good to get the exercise.  We're slowly getting our yard fixed up.  The geraniums in front seem happy enough, and the poppies are slowly building from the ground up.  Looks like none of the bulbs will be coming up until next year, we were too late getting them planted.  But that's OK.  I left the core of the stump that was more than  about six inches under the surface.  After about four hours of digging dirt, chopping roots, and splitting wood, I had enough.  Fortunately the stump has been rotting for some time, so it was not nearly as difficult as it would have been had it been a fresh green stump.  Why am I writing about this?  I really don't know.

My Mother in law passed on in October, and one of my Uncle's passed on last week.  It is a strange time.  I am glad that I believe that their time of suffering is over; I miss them, but I am glad they have been released.  They both enriched my life in ways I cannot count.  Mother in law is like a second mother to me; Uncle is like a much older brother.  I am honored to have known them and loved them and to have been known and loved by them.  My mother in law and uncle were both the first of their siblings to pass. "Mom" was 82 and "Uncle" was 94.  In both cases we got to say our goodbyes while they were still awake and alert, and it is a blessing is the only word I can think of to describe that.  Their passings have reminded me to be appreciative for the time and health I have.

Just when I think I've had enough of newstalk and cable network political news and commentary, curiousity usually gets the best of me and I will turn on the radio or television to investigate, is there anything new?  Strangely, most often, there is not.  Just a lot of talk, some whining, some complaining, some name calling, some dismay, some pointing of fingers, etc.etc.  I may even tire of Lou Dobbs and Bill O'Reilly, two of the more level headed independent informative and appropriately humorous at times folks.  It took many years for me to have had enough of classical music; perhaps it's not taking as many years for me to have my fill of CNN/HLN and FoxNews.  This could be a very good thing because I have a huge stack of papers/receipts/statements to sort and file, and an ENTIRE wall of books most of which I have NOT yet read.  So slowly and gradually I am shifting from a watching mode to a reading mode, and I think this will continue.  And I'm feeling positive about that.

In recent weeks the cat has begun to attack her reflection in the double paned glass doors and windows.  We are attempting to inhibit this behavior by keeping the windows and doors covered after dark.  I've tried opening the door to show her that no one is out there, but she doesn't get it.  Poor cat.  I try not to laugh but it does seem quite funny to me.

Very difficult to do!  I can feel defensive and attacked from my own insecurity within me, even when I'm not being personally attacked.  Other times I feel secure and recognize the attacks or critiques are upon a belief I hold or a position I support.  This works both ways.  Others can feel defensive and attacked from their own insecurity within them, even when I'm not personally attacking them.

To be sure, Disagreeing Agreeably takes practice, and it gets easier with practice.  It takes love and respect. It takes grace and transparency, vulnerability but not weakness.

I believe God does not feel insecure in any way, so I don't need to fear any possibility of Him feeling like He's being attacked.  In other words, I can vent on God and it won't wound Him in the same way it might wound another person, and it definitely won't destroy Him.

There's a lot of disagreement going on these days, and I'm not looking for answers here, just stating questions:

• Is it better that the government be doing more of God's work for the poor, the orphan, and the widow, or that the Church be doing more of that work?
  
• Is it better that people live according to their feelings or live in spite of their feelings? 
• Is it better that I spend money on myself on a getaway weekend, or give that money to the poor and stay at home? 
• Is it better to pay off debts before adding to savings, or to add more to savings before paying off debts, or to do some of both? 
• Does God desire more that the Church influence lawmaking, or that the Church live out the example of lawful living among and between its own members? 
• Is it most important to God that our intimate relationships reflect His image of male/authority/respect and female/power/love, or is it more important to God that our intimate relationships reflect his attributes of constancy, faithfulness, exclusiveness, propriety, appropriateness, privateness, tenderness, patience and longsuffering?
• Is what is natural automatically good by definition? Or is what is natural necessarily fallen and in need of supernatural intervention and infusion?
  
• Do we own property or are we stewards of God's property?
• Is the Bible the inspired word of God or is it the words of mere men?
  

Rain has finally returned to the Far West and I am glad.  Rain I like because it freshens the air and waters the plants and to a certain extent washes the car, and we don't have frost or fog while it is raining, and the sky isn't an endless blue for months on end like during the summer.  After weeks of cooler weather, I finally decided to build a fire in the fireplace.  There is something strangely comforting about a fire in the fireplace.  I don't know if I'll ever figure that out or if I even need to or want to.  The external decorations came down on January 10 and the internal decorations came down on Jan 17.  I'm somewhat sad to see them put away, but there's enough other beauty to make up for them.  The Tour of California is coming up and I might actually get to see a few moments of a real bike race in person, that will be something different.  I haven't ridden for a couple of years, so it may be a good kickstart to get back into riding.  Where is all this going?  I really don't know.  Have a good weekend.

Lately I've been more tired than usual.  So since it is so late already, time to put this day to rest.